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All My Tomorrows (Zejtra naporád) (2015)

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Score: 2/10

Genre: Dramatic Comedy Running Time: 1 hr. 40 min.

Release Date: March 28th, 2015 (Phoenix Film Festival) MPAA Rating: Not Rated

Director: Rudolf Havlik Actors: Pavel Batek, Vica Kerekes, Filip Blazek, Jiri Labus, Klara Issova, Jan Preucil, Anna Kulovana

B

usinessman Petr Kraus (Pavel Batek) journeys back to the Czech Republic from China to retrieve an under-the-table shipment of clothing. But when he examines the merchandise, he realizes the yellow Adadas shirts are defective (manufactured with an incredibly tiny hole for the head). His contact at the shipping yard only gives him a week to remove the product and Kraus envisions his own shady boss blaming him for the whole ordeal. Indeed, the impatient textile contractor (Jirí Lábus) isn’t likely to ignore a $3 million, unfulfilled order.

Fortunately, Petr has never been interested in leading a normal life – with a proper job, a mortgage, a wife, and kids – and so doesn’t seem all that consternated by his potentially deadly dilemma. Instead, he preoccupies himself with a series of blind dates he’s been orchestrating via the internet. Despite having an easy time picking up women and sleeping around, he can’t see the most appropriate companion right in front of him: therapist Tereza “Teri” (Vica Kerekes), who is desperately in love (in the most awkwardly obvious way). Meanwhile, best friend and construction worker Pavel (Filip Blazek) – who always knows what to do in every situation – becomes a useful ally in solving problems, just as Petr is scheduled to meet the irritated boss in Ostrava in two days.

In an attempt to be quirky, the film uses annoying techniques of narrative curve balls, like jumping about in the timeline, creating fictional asides to visualize possible futures, and even fast-forwarding through conversations. The stylization eventually dissipates, but it’s replaced by comic relief incidents that possess absolutely no humor. A gay man wielding a miniature chainsaw, a kleptomaniac uncle, the numerous dates secreting the existence of crazy boyfriends, a heavy metal concert in Vsemokrousy, and a last minute wedding to upend each provide opportunities for fun – but the execution is so poor that all the laughs are lost. Even the genuinely funny idea of trying to knock a man unconscious (it looks simple in the movies) is somehow devoid of amusement.

Just as the shenanigans should be happening to Harold and Kumar instead of middle-aged businessmen, a smattering of greatly discordant narrations continually chimes in. Petr omnisciently comments on existential philosophies during bland moments, interpreting happiness and purpose and expressing little knowledge (certainly, few poignant observations or opinions) about anything. The film tries to be a romantic comedy, but operates with the mindset of a crime thriller (perhaps inspired by Guy Ritchie’s superbly balanced pictures). As a result, it doesn’t know what tone to set or which direction to travel; the action scenes don’t fit, the romance is stale, and the mirth is nonexistent. It’s apparent that writer/director Rudolf Havlik has seen lots of American movies but couldn’t figure out how to duplicate (or mimic) any of them with cinematic competency.

– Mike Massie

 

 

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