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Batbabe: The Dark Nightie (2009)

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Score: 2/10

Genre: Exploitation Running Time: 1 hr. 28 min.

Release Date: February 24th, 2009 (DVD) MPAA Rating: Not Rated

Director: John Bacchus Actors: Darian Caine, Molly Heartbreaker, Jackie Stevens, Sativa Verte, Ruby LaRocca, Rob Mandara

T

here really is nothing less satisfying than softcore pornography. The very idea of making an adult film without the actual adult content seems absurd, and “Batbabe: The Dark Nightie” doesn’t alter that thought. The fact that it is also incredibly low budget doesn’t help – the typical pointless plot is so incredibly ridiculous, the characters are so poorly portrayed, and the dialogue is so disturbingly despicable that it detracts from the simple enjoyment of gratuitous nudity.

Bacchum City is being plagued by the maniacal Jerker (Robert Mandara), who sets in motion a plan to steal all of the porn in the land. He keeps it locked away in his dildo-shaped helicopter, waiting for the townsfolk to become consumed in sexual anxiety. But Wendy Wane (Darian Caine), a strip club mogul by day, slips into her seductive alter ego Batbabe at night to combat the evils of the Jerker and his clown henchmen. Aided by hopelessly incompetent Commissioner Boredom and sexy lesbian District Attorney Henrietta Bent (Molly Heartbreaker, who curiously has flames tattooed around her nipples), Batbabe must summon the courage to continue promoting her standard random ten-minute promiscuities and corner the Jerker before he forces her to permanently retire.

The entire presentation of “Batbabe” is so substandard it practically destroys all chance the film has at being titillating. The music by Trigger Taint is painfully hokey, the Jerker’s helicopter is literally a toy, and the special effects are the most primitive green screen and overlayed images imaginable. These are trivial considering the purpose of the film, though the sex scenes themselves lack creativity, class, and eroticism. It’s chiefly girl-on-girl action, since nudity beyond that would no longer fall under the “softcore” label; the scenes are lengthy, but the inability to show much leads to little amusement.

The funniest thing about “Batbabe” is the riffing of Christian Bale’s noticeably gruff and silly voice used in “The Dark Knight.” Other attempts at parody are so distant from the original material that it’s not funny – or the humor just ends up being generic. A scene with big cartoon words mocks the original Batman TV show, and characters such as Mr. Sleaze add to the stupidity. This is definitely not high-class smut.

– Mike Massie

 

 



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