I'm sure that "Turistas" started out as a good idea, and it must have remained so at the start of the screenplay development process. Even in the final filmed version, parts of this good idea remained; it involves an isolated group of organ harvesters living in the deep jungles of Brazil. They obtain everything from unwitting tourists that wander into a phony beach/bar getaway. The notion that someone would remove your vital organs against your will is genuinely scary, and I have no doubt that such people actually exist, hidden away within the nooks and crannies of the earth. It's a very uncomfortable thought, and I give the film credit for making me second-guess any plans to visit Brazil.

But this film is loaded with problems, enough to outweigh the effectiveness of the underlying idea. "Turistas" is misguided practically from the start, missing the mark as both a horror film and a social commentary. The first hour does nothing but continuously build tension, which I suppose can be effective when constructed properly (consider Ridely Scott's "Alien"). But by the time we actually get to the scarier moments of the remaining thirty minutes--moments highlighted by medical cruelty and violence--we come to the realization that there's hardly anything to have gotten tense about. I say this from a horror fan's point of view; if a story is meant to be scary, then it should remain consistently scary almost all throughout. Saving the shocking moments for the end simply does not work.

And then there are the turistas--or tourists in the native English. They're represented as a ragtag group of well-toned twenty-somethings from all walks of life. No matter how hard I tried to understand them, no matter how open-minded I made myself to their situations, I never once believed them to be genuine. They felt about as realistic and complex as clones from a cheaply produced 1990s teen slasher film (all of which were clones to begin with, I might add). The most important characters are the brother and sister duo of Alex (Josh Duhamel) and Bea (Olivia Wilde). Alex is inexplicably and unrealistically overprotective of Bea: she couldn't go to Brazil unless he went with her; she shouldn't put ice in her drinks because there's the risk of dysentery; she shouldn't have chosen a bus as a mode of transportation because their going through the mountains and the driver seems a bit reckless.

But as it turns out, the bus driver actually is reckless; in attempting to avoid hitting a group of people crossing the road, the bus violently swerves off the edge. Luckily, everyone manages to get out before the bus loses its balance and falls down a two hundred foot incline. Still, everything is ruined. With nothing left to wait around for, Alex, Bea, and a small group of people decide to try and find help. In their searching, they find a seemingly remote yet beautiful beach area, complete with a well-stocked bar and attractive girls (this is especially enticing for a pair of loud mouthed Londoners). For a few hours, everyone has a good time; they swim, they play volleyball, and they dance the night away to the sound of throbbing Brazilian dance music. And they drink. A lot.

What they don't yet realize is that every single drink from that little bar has been spiked with a powerful drug. Almost immediately, everyone passes out directly on the shoreline. When they wake up, they discover that they've been robbed, and worse yet, some of the other tourists are missing. Here is where the obligatory nightmare begins, most of which I found difficult to accept as plausible. For one thing, the only "reliable" source of help is Kiko (Agles Steib), a native Brazilian who speaks broken English. It's immediately obvious that in real life, no one, not even those in a desperate situation, would follow his lead. However, dimwitted characters in a substandard film certainly would. He first leads the group to a dilapidated village with no form of law enforcement (it's there that they see some of their missing items in the hands of the locals). No help there. Yet they keep following him, and he takes them through dense jungles and up steep mountains. He's supposedly leading them to his uncle's remote cabin; a place he claims will keep everyone safe.

But before they reach their destination, they stop at a picturesque waterfall area with underground caves just waiting to be explored. Thus begins a second scene of swimming, frolicking, and happiness. I'm sorry, but I thought these characters were supposed to be frightened, desperate, and in need of help. Why in God's name are they stopping to take a dip? There's one character in particular I wish had asked that question: her name is Pru (Melissa George), an Australian who frequently travels and speaks fluent Portuguese. I initially thought she had the most common sense, even more so than Alex. Someone of such mental clarity should be able to see how foolish it would be to stop in the middle of an important journey to have fun.

But I guess she's the wrong person to rely on. And like everyone else in the group, she has no idea what they're in for. They finally reach this deserted cabin, only to find it mysteriously filled with food, drugs, clothing, and medical supplies (you'd think they'd make use of them when Kiko accidentally splits his head open, but no; they use a staple gun). And then they meet Kiko's uncle, who majestically flies in by helicopter. He's a cold, cold man, and he's apparently tired of tourists draining Brazil of its resources (he shows his angry side early on by shoving a wooden skewer through his henchman's right eye). As payback, he kidnaps the tourists, drugs them, and surgically removes specific organs. This brings to light the social commentary mentioned earlier; if the nations of the world hope to earn one another's friendship, all the silly political squabbling needs to stop.

Can we all agree that that's an absolutely stupid message to put in a thriller, especially one involving some gory medical shots? I certainly hope we can. I won't bother with describing the climactic dissection scene, but I think it's safe for you to assume that you'll be in for some ugly visuals. I won't even bother with describing anymore of this film, something that only amounted to underachievement. I can appreciate the thought that went into "Turistas"; I can tell that it was intended to be a horror film, and for a story of that genre, the idea definitely had potential. Unfortunately, its execution was handled badly. I left the theater feeling an unwelcome mixture of boredom, unpleasantness, and indifference. Who would actually want to watch this kind of filmmaking? No one from Brazil, that's for sure.

- Chris Pandolfi

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