eeling the tediousness from years of being forced to make uninspired and monotonous wedding videos, Doug McAllister (Jack Black) yearns for his long lost dream of becoming a Hollywood film director. So when at a surprise birthday party, during which he reunites with childhood friends Ronald “Griff” Griffen Jr., (Paul Rudd), Claire Simons (Thandiwe Newton), and Kenny Trent (Steve Zahn), and they all agree to take a three-week vacation to Brazil to film a “spiritual successor” to the Jennifer Lopez-starring “Anaconda” movie, Doug eagerly agrees (after a brief moment of refusing, due to the sheer insanity of it all, of course). But once there, the production runs into several snags, including a sketchy reptile handler (Selton Mello), a reluctant riverboat captain (Daniela Melchior), armed mineral thieves, and one gargantuan man-eating snake.

In the opening shots, Melchior’s character is introduced in a panic, fearful for her life, and fleeing from both gunmen and a giant reptile – but dressed like Lara Croft, with short shorts and a skimpy top as she navigates a hostile jungle. This level of unlikely glamor isn’t routinely duplicated elsewhere in the picture, but the senselessness of her costuming strangely sums up the wealth of insincerities to come. It’s certainly difficult for “Anaconda” to balance its blend of genres, especially when the characters aren’t written to take any of it seriously.

It’s a movie about movies, as well as a movie-within-a-movie, commenting here and there about the state of the industry – from the rigors of the casting process (let alone stardom) to the widespread lack of originality in scripts. And it’s also a reimagining, a sequel, a spoof, and a reboot, all at the same time. Problematically, its main focus is comedy, which means that it struggles with the thrills and the action, even if it abounds with jump scares that are far from clever. It never manages to harness its complementary pieces; the personas are often too goofy to fit into the horror, while the seemingly obligatory relationship dramas are never genuine enough to work with the traumas of loss and terrorization. It’s one of the most ineffective and dishonest horror-comedy hybrids of recent memory.

As it expands upon concepts from “Be Kind Rewind” (though it desperately wants to be like “Tropic Thunder”), which also starred Black, “Anaconda” reveals itself to be an exceptionally lazy example of homage. To make the leads appear as if interested in filmmaking, they have theatrical posters in their workplaces and homes, which can be seen in plain view; they talk of movie props, recite quotes, and make all manner of references, but don’t do anything remotely canny or unique. It’s as if the filmmakers believe that the mere mention of the 1997 flick (and background imagery specifically targeting cinephiles) is sufficient to lure fans into a fictional world of major movie buffs – without doing any inventive scripting to bolster the believability. Perhaps it doesn’t matter; much of this production resembles Adam Sandler’s “Grown Ups” and “Grown Ups 2,” in which a cast of pals hang out in paradise, thoroughly enjoying their vacation while audiences are asked to soak up the rest and relaxation vicariously, without meaningful plots or dialogue to ease them into the more-than-90-minute sacrifice.

Maybe the most unrealistic element here is Doug’s suspiciously supportive wife (Ione Skye), who encourages him to leave his job and his family, head out of the country, and waste his time and money to momentarily pursue a youthful dream (to the estimated tune of $40,000). He undoubtedly gets to reminisce and brighten his mood. But for any of this to come to fruition, at least marginal practicality is required, if not from the excess of main characters (Zahn and Newton have very little to do here), then at least from the human villains. Yet they’re just as pointless and inconsequential as the titular behemoth, which is so badly designed that it’s essentially an otherworldly monster like King Kong. Even within the film, it’s compared to a dinosaur. And yet, after repeatedly coming face-to-face with the juggernaut, nearly succumbing time and again, they’re all largely unfazed, driven to continue onward with filming, as if life-or-death scenarios pose zero gravity. Ultimately, “Anaconda” can only poke fun at itself (or nod to itself) for so long, before every aspect becomes a joke – even the moments that try more earnestly to examine friendships and failures and second-chances. It may feature one riotously funny sequence (spoiled in the trailer, of course), but that’s not adequate in justifying this project – a project that exists in an inexplicable realm somewhere between a parody and an actual thriller, succeeding not at all in either intention.

– The Massie Twins