s Maryland’s Central High School senior class graduates, Calvin “The Golden Jet” Joyner (Kevin Hart) prepares for a promising future. Two-time class president, captain of numerous sports teams, and voted “Most Likely to Succeed,” Joyner appears poised to conquer the world. On the opposite end of the spectrum, overweight loner Robbie Weirdicht (Dwayne Johnson) is continually, heavily bullied, and ridiculed to a severe degree during the school’s pep rally. Twenty years later, Calvin finds himself stuck in a dead-end accounting job and in a rocky marriage to his high school sweetheart Maggie (Danielle Nicolet). But his whole life is turned upside down when one fateful afternoon he accepts an online friend request from “Bob Stone,” the alias for a completely transformed Robbie. Now a herculean muscleman and secret agent for the CIA, Bob tricks the unwitting Calvin into aiding him on a deadly mission to track down stolen government satellite codes and a shadowy crime kingpin codenamed the “Black Badger.”

It’s a typical yet amusing formula, with the extremely popular kid in high school failing to live up to his potential. Top-of-the-class designation and an incomparably cool, loved-by-everyone status becomes a recipe for adulthood mediocrity and discontent. Meanwhile, the impossibly awkward, obese, nerdy counterpart, who is always the butt of the most vicious jokes, blossoms into a trim, formidable, respectable, macho man. And then comedy ensues. Indeed, the ironic contrasts of formative years not accurately predicting future outcomes is a pleasing, universally understandable setup for humor, even if its ultimate influence in the actual plot (when it finally arrives) is pointless.

“Well, there’s no coming back from that,” insists the principal after witnessing – and refusing to intercede in – a particularly disgusting prank. But even after the film moves on from the curious references to “Sixteen Candles” and the obvious nods to “Romy and Michele’s High School Reunion,” there doesn’t seem to be much for the two leading men to do. And that’s quite a shame, considering both exhibit excellent comic timing and hilarious idiosyncrasies, especially as Johnson assumes the role of the funny man to Hart’s not-so-serious straight man. In an unexpected but welcome twist, Johnson is the flamboyant, ungainly, inarticulate goofball to Hart’s fish-out-of-water everyman, even if the latter actor dons his usual routine of nonstop jabbering and distressed neurosis. Both excel in their parts, succeeding in slapstick, chemistry, and frantic repartee. And even some of the action scenes are engaging, despite the film opting for that overworked, rapidly-cut editing style that obscures any truly talented fight choreography.

But notwithstanding all the laughs and the easy emotions or themes of confidence/self-esteem, living up to expectations, contentment versus superior social standings, and especially the idea of conquering fear or bullies, the story is just pitiful. Even as an excuse to provide opportunities for Johnson and Hart to play off of their disparities (while also surprisingly straying away from racial jokes), the formulaic superspy gimmick is exhausting. It’s so overwhelmingly generic – and riddled with the kind of plot holes that are intentionally disregarded by the filmmakers because they view this venture as a mere comedy – that it can’t sustain its two-hour running time or slip into the background of physical gags or loopy conversations. The story arc is so interruptive and meaningless that it disrupts any chance of the humor prevailing over the supreme insincerity (motivations, allegiances, and the murder/mystery concepts are absolutely incompatible with the characters). As a result, the finale falls apart, tremendously. Fortunately, the jokes are consistently diverting, save for the outtakes – which are significantly funnier than everything before them.

– The Massie Twins