ive years have passed since the devastation caused by Godzilla’s climactic battle in San Francisco. While many have attempted to move on, mourning mother Dr. Emma Russell (Vera Farmiga) has committed herself to her work on the Orca, a bio-acoustic sound wave system that may hold the key to controlling Godzilla and other “titans.” When the doctor is kidnapped by Jonah Alan (Charles Dance) and his band of eco-terrorists, Emma’s daughter Madison (Millie Bobby Brown) is dragged into the madman’s dangerous scheme to release more behemoths being held by secretive monster-hunting organization Monarch – led by Ishiro Serizawa (Ken Watanabe) and Vivienne Graham (Sally Hawkins). Despite his hatred for Godzilla, Madison’s father Mark (Kyle Chandler) agrees to assist Monarch in their quest to locate and aid the gargantuan reptile against their mutual enemies – including a newly freed three-headed abomination hell-bent on dominating the world.

“We must keep our faith in Godzilla!” The world’s most famous lizard monster has been, conveniently, taking a five-year hiatus so that the events of this sequel can directly line up with the span of time between films. Humanity hasn’t learned much during the break, once again building containment fields that immediately fail to hold their prisoners, and devices of control that are unable to exhibit much command over their targets. It’s certainly not an original idea to have humans quarrel over meaningless authorities, yet that seems to be the major premise here; indeed, the first half-hour of “Godzilla: King of the Monsters” rehashes themes from every monster movie of the last 20 years.

Further delaying the inevitable clash between Godzilla and longtime nemesis Ghidorah is a collection of hackneyed personas. Every generic character blueprint appears, sometimes in multiples: a nerdy scientist (Middleditch); a wise-cracking technician (Whitford); the precocious, headstrong child (Brown); the guilt-ridden father running away from his family (Chandler); the grief-stricken mother consumed by her work (Farmiga); the grimacing, stone-faced villain (Dance); and a wealth of military personnel (some barking serious orders, others providing cynical utterances), researchers, and politicians. And the dialogue is bland to match, from commonplace conversations to laboratory lingo to military mumbo-jumbo.

Far too many supporting players populate the picture, with not a one feeling fresh or necessary. Fortunately, Monster Zero promises some excitement, though it’s the kind that probably won’t live up to expectations. Special effects have come a long way since the man-in-a-suit gimmicks of the originals or Harryhausen’s stop-motion derivations, so Ghidorah’s appearance is fairly amusing; the space creature’s movements are mesmerizing, particularly as its three heads writhe in a natural, oscillating cadence. But despite the sizable budget, there are still copious amounts of obfuscation pummeling the screen; rapid cuts and camera angles, storms and environmental debris, and flickering lights paired with nighttime shots all keep the kaiju combatants blurred and entangled. Specific choreography is impossible to sort out.

“Godzilla: King of the Monsters” is an epitomic example of bombastic spectacle unable to overtake terrible storytelling. Accidental hilarity finds its way into the film through candid lines from an emotionless antagonist; ludicrous transportation conundrums as the main characters zip back and forth across the globe; and the nonsensically-ignored physics of nuclear explosions and blast radii, oversized stealth jets flying through violent tempests while miraculously pulling off complex rescues, and submarines diving and surfacing from extreme depths with the ease of a toy in a bathtub. But the visuals are the least of the problems; the narrative is more focused on motivational speeches, awestruck expressions and commentary, phonily emotional sacrifices, artificial predicaments designed to inspire last-minute heroism, and laughable stare-downs between man and titan.

The filmmakers opted to follow the techniques of the Transformers series rather than “Pacific Rim,” resulting in massive amounts of destruction and collateral damage with very little substance. The monster battles are intermittently enjoyable, but the humans and their trivial woes continually interrupt them to ruin the momentum. For a film promoting the fine balance between mankind and nature, “Godzilla: King of the Monsters” can’t seem to balance the petty people, the colossal kaiju, or the reasons for all of them to exist in the same storyline.

– The Massie Twins