ale nurse Greg Focker (Ben Stiller) has been rehearsing endlessly to propose to the love of his life (after only ten months!), Harmony School teacher Pam Byrnes (Teri Polo). Despite planning a sweet scenario that involves her students, his down-on-one-knee setup is ruined when her sister calls, mentioning that she just got engaged, but appropriately asked Pam’s father first – something that Greg failed to do. “You make it sound like they’re really hard to please.”

Two weeks later, the couple head to Pam’s parents’ house, where Jack (Robert De Niro) and Dina (Blythe Danner) welcome Greg a little icily. Sarcasm is entirely lost on the Byrnes family, which is quite unfortunate for Focker, who loves to crack little jokes. And during this weekend trial, in which he hopes to win over his potential, future in-laws, everything isn’t going to go smoothly. In fact, everything that can go wrong does – as well as oodles of completely unexpected occurrences.

As if it weren’t bad enough that the airline loses Greg’s luggage, or that a baby spits up on his shirt, or that he can’t smoke his cigarettes to relieve stress, the formidable Jack turns out to be an uncommonly stern, demanding character. Although the premise might not seem terribly original, this Jay Roach-directed comedy is quick to establish some spectacularly awkward moments, putting Greg in the most uncomfortable of situations. It’s so incredibly grating and blundering and distressing – but in a consistently humorous way, crafting one of those rare, continuously cringe-inducing laugh-fests that will have viewers alternating between gaiety and recoiling. This might be the perfect example of the most nightmarish meeting of parents imaginable. “I will be watching you, studying your every move.”

Interestingly, the film doesn’t thrive solely on big, laugh-out-loud scenes (though those are steadily built toward as well). Instead, it’s most at-home with smaller, one-on-one interactions, which are absolutely outrageous in their subtleness, overflowing with tinier details and expressions (with amusing supporting roles from Owen Wilson, James Rebhorn, and Kali Rocha, and facetious lyrics from composer Randy Newman). It’s almost straight-faced at times, with the actors struggling not to crack from the ludicrousness of the dialogue – and yet it delicately avoids being mean-spirited. Even with all the anxiety, it’s still a good time. And it’s somewhat surprising just how fitting and competent Stiller, De Niro, and Polo are with this type of comedy.

Ultimately, while it encompasses jealousy, rivalry, trust, intimidation, expectations, oneupmanship, desperation to fit in (which leads to over-the-top mistakes), and countless insults (and belittling of Greg’s career and his name) – all components that are to be anticipated – it does so with expert precision. Even in its unrealistic moments, there’s a certain underlying realism that makes the gags truer – and land with comedic aplomb. The exaggerated disastrousness is also nicely balanced by sincerer exchanges; romantic moments are as genuine as the extravagant disorder. The finale falters just a touch, unfortunately, as coincidences come across feeling marginally overwrought, but the humor comes naturally, resulting in a highly memorable picture. “I’m a very accepting person, Focker.”

– Mike Massie