Genre: Horror Comedy Running Time: 1 hr. 23 min.
Release Date: June 1st, 2012 MPAA Rating: R
Director: John Gulager Actors: Danielle Panabaker, Matt Bush, Katrina Bowden, Jean-Luc Bilodeau, David Koechner, Chris Zylka, Meagan Tandy, David Hasselhoff, Christopher Lloyd, Paul Scheer, Sierra Fisk, Rozlyn Papa, Kathy Sue Holtorf
CDI News reports on the circumstances of Lake Victoria, the spring break capital, which was previously the home of a deadly attack by a horde of prehistoric piranha. After scores of partiers were turned into lunch, the whole town suffered an economic depression; a massive exodus left most properties abandoned and the area officially quarantined. But countless eggs were left behind, ready to cause further destruction in the nearby Cross Lake, in Merkin County, Arizona.
So it’s not surprising that the opportunistic Chet (David Koechner) grows anxious to open his massive water park, The Big Wet, regardless of any safety concerns. His stepdaughter, Maddy (Danielle Panabaker), doesn’t approve of the addition of an adult pool – a strip club and bar merged with a pool – but her minority ownership in the facilities doesn’t allow her much managerial oversight. Plus, she’s really only interested in making a little money over the summer; The Big Wet isn’t supposed to be a permanent career.
“Make love to me!” Following along with the formula of the previous piranha picture, most of the plot is merely an excuse to show close-ups of naked female parts. In fact, the introductions of the main characters (including Katrina Bowden, Meagan Tandy, and a bevy of voluptuous women) involve flashes of exposed skin, skinny-dipping, and attempted sex. Even one of the male characters delivers his first lines while masturbating. Continual montages also litter the opening moments, comprised of various water activities, which feature unabashed nudity. Perhaps the most creative shot shows a beach ball bouncing onto an equally buoyant breast.
To change things up (as if the filmmakers were convinced that they couldn’t solely show unclothed beauties), there are also attack scenes, which predictably involve characters repeatedly – and clumsily – falling into the piranha-infested waters. The gore is a bit limited at first, while the computer-animated chompers still look terribly fake, but the over-the-top violence soon supplements the routine nakedness. Further borrowing from its predecessor, Christopher Lloyd returns as a wild-eyed scientist, Paul Scheer is the same lackey from before, Ving Rhames is the sheriff (now sans legs), and a few other cameos contribute to the silliness. Strangely, there’s a noticeable lack of adults in the film; twenty-year-olds seem to run everything. At least “Piranha DD” (whose title [formerly “Piranha 3DD”] no longer makes sense without its 3D theatrical exhibition) tries to outdo the outrageousness of the surprise 2010 hit, with its penis-severing extremeness and oversized, bobbling bosoms, even if 90% of the film is a mere rehash. Essentially, this is what the “Sharknado” movies would be like if they were R-rated.
– Mike Massie