ike multiple King Kongs scrambling up and down the side of a skyscraper, mutant turtle monstrosities Michelangelo, Donatello, Leonardo, and Raphael engage in all sorts of martial arts maneuvers as they complete their latest mission: to acquire a pizza. When they’re not trying to secretly score some food, they also save the city as shadowy crime fighters – having previously rid New York of the terrorist Shredder (Brian Tee) and his army of the Foot Clan. What’s difficult to forget, as they athletically scale towering structures to get a bird’s eye view of a Knicks game, is that they’re teenagers – who happen to also have incredible intelligence when it comes to technologically advanced gadgetry and weaponry (but who struggle with likely rejection and dread from the very humans they strive to protect). “People fear what they do not understand.”

It’s also difficult to dismiss the unusual amount of sexuality exuded from reporter April O’Neil (Megan Fox), who, in an early scene, dons a short skirt and bares her midriff in a thinly veiled attempt to gain access to valuable digital files. It is, quite obviously, a sequence designed to showcase her figure. At least it’s a stark contrast to the character designs of the turtles, who are rather ugly; there’s a minimal amount of cuteness lurking behind their moist, scaly, rubbery faces and oversized bodies. And when it comes to their father, Splinter the rat-creature (voiced by Tony Shalhoub), he’s downright hideous and alarming.

Ultimately, this sequel is an opportunity for fantasy-based adventure (in the same vein as the G.I. Joe features), with Shredder and his minions returning for additional mayhem; the main human role of cameraman Vernon “The Falcon” Fenwick (Will Arnett) is mere comic relief and largely uninteresting and unnecessary (as acknowledged by the filmmakers, who have drastically reduced his screentime), while supporting parts by Laura Linney (a police chief) and Tyler Perry (a mad scientist) are utterly forgettable. The unstoppable, uncontainable villain is joined by other familiar, inhuman antagonists from the world of the turtles, including Bebop and Rocksteady and Krang – a collection of visually amusing computer-animated concoctions. It’s undeniably engaging to see these entities given the live-action treatment, even if they don’t have much to do, and their endeavors grow exceedingly cartoonish. “Give us the ooze.”

Since the plot deals with inter-dimensional portals, teleportation devices, and alien transformation serums, it’s unconvincing and flimsy at best. At times, far more comedy surfaces than action. At least the set designs and props are spectacular, as are the various elements of faithfulness to the source material. Fans will surely find entertainment in the imagery and the introduction of new characters, even if the use of subtle adult jokes are unfitting and Fox’s excessively sexualized, done-up appearance never feels entirely appropriate (it also doesn’t help that she has zero chemistry with momentary love-interest Casey Jones [Stephen Amell], a random vigilante). At least Linney’s static expression of utter disbelief at the turtles involvement is believable. “What would Vin Diesel do?”

Unfortunately, since the leads don’t really take their scenarios seriously, running around the city (and soaring through the skies and careening over waterfalls) with a standard superhero air of invincibility, audiences are unlikely to care too much about them or their various predicaments. Shredder continually gets the better of the turtles – until the end, of course. And the brothers grapple with their inability to work as a team, communicate effectively, and find acceptance amid the public – until the end, of course. And that finale takes far too long to reach; the climax is a mess of mismatched fighting and random explosions that ramble on until it all borders on boredom. “Oh I’m sorry. Did I get a little tentacle mucus in your eyes?”

– Mike Massie