s the proprietor of Motel Hello, Vincent Smith (Rory Calhoun) sits outside on his rocking chair on the porch, peacefully gazing into the California night. This building and its ill-lit interior is essentially a cross between the buildings from “Psycho” and “The Texas Chain Saw Massacre,” housing some incredibly creepy decorations and denizens. “Farmer” Vincent also holds some shocking secrets – such as the source of the smoked meats he sells, as advertised on a cheery, inviting billboard near the establishment. “I love surprises!”

Not exactly unexpectedly, Vincent sets traps for random passerby, collecting victims who are brought back to his sprawling farm, which contains hidden, fenced areas, as well as a slaughterhouse. When Boris Tulinski drives down a little-used road with his girlfriend Terry (Nina Axelrod), they lose control of their motorcycle, resulting in instant death for Boris, while Terry finds herself recuperating at Motel Hello, cared for by the generous Vincent and his cheery sister Ida (Nancy Parsons, of “Porky’s” notoriety). Though she’s confused by her boyfriend’s untimely demise and his sudden, improper burial, she’s thankful for the Smiths’ kindness and helpfulness. It’s also convenient that Vincent’s kid brother, Bruce (Paul Linke), is the current Grainville County Sheriff.

With the rather subdued and melancholy music, which grows ominous as unsuspecting characters poke around blood-soaked buildings, it’s not much of a mystery as to what is going on at Vincent’s property: heinous, violent tortures are being conducted for ghoulish (and nonsensical) purposes. Since it’s obvious that the Smiths are the villains, it’s unfortunate that the film spends so much time detailing their specific techniques, as well as on collecting bodies from such individualistic roles as the band members of Ivan and the Terribles, a pesky U.S. Department of Agriculture inspector, and some wild whip-cracking swingers, among others. In a curious twist, there is actually too much fodder in this slasher. “Something’s weird…”

Though the basic plot is manageable for a horror film, many of the complications feel like fillers – most notably with a romance subplot that develops distastefully. If it were solely an addition to the terror to generate a false hope for rescue, it might have been useful, but instead it’s just a tremendously insincere series of flirtation misadventures. And moments for father/daughter bonding and distracting sequences of revelry are similarly unconvincing. It certainly doesn’t help that Axelrod is such an outrageously bad actress, written to be inordinately naive and trusting and doltish. “You look good enough to eat.”

The characters behave so goofily that “Motel Hell” might actually be a spoof of other horror flicks, attempting to highlight just how dimwitted the protagonists would have to be to wander into such exaggerated scenarios of serial killing – while those same designs for death are so elaborate and bizarre and unnecessary as to inspire instant dubiety (along with the shifting allegiances and unexplained motives). The main problem, however, is that many of the personas play their parts in earnest, preventing the film from appearing unmistakable in its intentions; some of the scares are borderline genuine in their freakiness. Even though it primarily features gore and nudity of the exploitation kind, a handful of concepts are curiously effective in their forthright executions; the ambiguity is just strong enough that it’s never entirely apparent what “Motel Hell” is trying to accomplish with its brand of hokey thrills. At least the climax, notably boasting a chainsaw duel with a cackling, pig-head-wearing psychopath, is unforgettable in its uniqueness, ludicrousness, and humor. “The Lord’s ways are sometimes mysterious.”

– Mike Massie