housands of years ago in ancient China, a benign king created a mystical medallion to save his people from terrorization at the hands of the evil shadow warriors. The artifact (a spiritual amplifier), shaped like a dragon, was eventually split in two – leading to the legend of the Double Dragon. In present day (New Angeles, 2007, after the big quake) Victor Geistman, aka Koga Shuko (Robert Patrick), has his henchwoman, Linda Lash (Kristina Malandro Wagner, who gets punched in the face no less than four times throughout the picture), retrieve half of the magical pendant from Chinese monks. But in order to achieve total domination, Shuko needs its mate – still secreted away in a safe place. “Dark forces know of its existence.”

Meanwhile, teenagers Jimmy Lee (Mark Dacascos, a talented martial artist) and his brother Billy (Scott Wolf, boasting no martial arts expertise), along with legal guardian Satori (Julia Nickson-Soul), leave a karate match, which finds them in a bad neighborhood after dark. Tattooed, pierced, wild-haired, black-leather-clad punks comb the streets, looking for easy targets to rob and attack. This leads to a car chase between the Lee’s armored, flame-spewing station wagon and two gangsters’ tank-like tactical vehicle. Each is equipped with advanced technology that can plot courses throughout the city, as well as identify the drivers and their personal statistics (such as, comically, bench-lifting limits).

These opening sequences resemble “The Warriors” and the Mad Max films, though with an overt tongue-in-cheek flavor (along the lines of “Big Trouble in Little China”). Typically life-and-death encounters incite only cheesy one-liners from the Lees, and a bored, hands-in-pockets pose from Satori. There’s also a “Robocop” vibe, in which commercials and newscasts shed light on sociopolitical elements of this moderately bleak, postapocalyptic future. A citywide curfew, notable climate change (like black rain and toxic pollution), and an unchecked anarchy that runs rampant at night are just a few of the televised commentaries. Plus, Madonna and Tom Arnold’s marriage has ended. And a vigilante gang called the Power Corp (led by the young but rebellious Marian [Alyssa Milano]) picks up where the police are unable to venture, battling for justice when the authorities opt instead to negotiate with known criminals.

Since nothing about “Double Dragon” is taken seriously, there’s a bit of fun to be had with the exaggerated makeup effects, pervasive sarcasm, and kung fu combat – even though they must contend with bad acting, clearly pulled punches, and pitiful CG. Robert Patrick (having recently made quite an impact with his performance in “Terminator 2: Judgment Day”) is one of the worst offenders, hamming it up with terrible dialogue, yet he’s enjoying himself with greater regularity than his viewers. At least the large-scale skirmishes are complex and colorful; at one point, there’s even a “Waterworld”-type action sequence, which actually predates that aforementioned big-budget spectacle.

“I’m sorry I had to kick your butt so bad.” As the film nods to countless ’80s, teen-oriented, antiestablishment, revolution-inducing, gang-teeming, action-fantasy thrillers, it struggles to find an identity of its own. At times, it alternates between resembling “Mortal Kombat” (“Double Dragon” is, in fact, based on an arcade game, of which a physical machine makes a brief cameo), “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles,” John Carpenter’s early works (“Assault on Precinct 13” and “Escape from New York,” chiefly), comic strip adaptations like “The Phantom” and “The Shadow,” superhero movies, and even a live-action cartoon. And Shuko’s underground experimentations on corpses bring up similarities to “The Return of the Living Dead.” In characters, plot, tone, and production design, “Double Dragon” is inconsistent and all over the place. For that, the constant levity certainly doesn’t help.

– Mike Massie